The loss off us all
by drenandtarb
Summary: Cecil just wants to be nticed by his crush... but itll never work out... he and tidus are way too differnt.. not to mention firion getting in the way.


**Chapter one**

It's strange really, finding myself day dreaming, even in the middle of this war. I look across at him and I'm off again. I can't concentrate! I'm just glad they paired me with him, even if I'm not paying attention; he gives me the power to continue fighting.

Sometimes, the way he looks at me, I begin to think he feels the same. That stare with those big greyish bluish eyes and his pearly white smile makes it look almost as if he's trying to flirt with me, id doubt that though. I mean, look at me. Sure when I have a fair face, long silver hair, and beautiful blue eyes, but that's the problem, I look like a girl! That's why I try to keep my helmet on, it makes me look manly.

It's not just that. I have competition, if I'm ever going to win Tidus's heart I have to get him away from Firion. Everyday I fear they're getting a little closer. Tidus could never choose me over him, they're like two peas in a pod, and all I am to Tidus is another comrade. The tag along. I bet your starting to wonder what I even see in him, id tell you but I think we should get on with my story now .

When it started to get dark earlier this evening all 10 of us were sat at the table ready for tea. We had just ordered in a Chinese, I was getting a beef pancake roll and some hot'n'spicey spare ribs, as usual. Id managed to get the seat across from Tidus, there was a small flickering candle between us. What luck? I looked up at his face and blushed a little. He noticed this and smiled back at me trying to make me feel eased. But I knew it was forced. Could he not stand the thought that I liked him in that way?

I looked down afraid he hated me. The door bell rang and Light-san stood up to pay for our food. Smiling he brought the Chinese back to the table and laid everything out. The smell was great; all sorts of spiced aromas filled the room. Onion was sat piling his plate up as high as he could before anyone else got a chance to get to the food. Bartz and Zidane looked at each other and nodded, we could all tell what hat meant; a competition between the two of them to see who could eat the fastest. Terra giggles as cloud passed her the sweet and sour sauce. Everyone was happy; everyone but me and Tidus, and I swear Firion gave me the evils, just for a second maybe.

I reached for one of those spare ribs I ordered. At the same moment I felt something soft, when I looked across Tidus was reaching for the same thing. I looked up at his face seeing him blush; maybe he did love me after all. I turned my hand around and wrapped it around his. I was finally getting somewhere with him. Just then Firion pushed himself away from the table and stood up. "Sir," he addressed Light-san. "Please keep your men under control." Sweat was forming on his head as he stormed out the room. "What's up with him?" squall asked. I just shrugged as I let go of Tidus' hand, letting him go to find Firion so he could calm him.

They had been gone a very long time, almost too long. We'd all finished our meal so I decided it would be best if I go check on them, it might have got Firion more frustrated but it just felt right at the time. So I followed my instincts and set off down the hall, passing rooms of the other 7 warriors. Load moans were coming from Bartz' room, I found it best to just pass and forget about it thought.

Reaching the door of Firion; my hands started getting sticky with sweat droplets. What if they were kissing, or worse? I can't just barge in on them, but I can't just leave it. Sure I could just knock politely, but I doubt Firion would answer after looking through the spy hole. Because I didn't know what decision I should have made, I ended up yelling out making Tidus come running to the door to ask what was wrong. How embarrassing. My face turned a few shades of red as I stepped back and said "Nothing, I came to see if Firion is alright."

"He's fine!" Tidus said so quickly it was almost aggressive. He then looked at the floor, sighed, then looked back up. With his normal tone of voice back he continued. "We had a talk; I think he's a lot calmer now. It's probably a bad idea for you to see him right now though, he needs some space."

"And I suppose that space is his time with you?" I replied winking, even if my words hurt me so bad. "No," Tidus answered, "It's not like that, we're not together, me and Firion." Next he folded his arms and puffed up his cheeks like a little angry child, mumbling a bunch of stuff. Who cares what he was saying, seeing him like this was a real treat, he's so cute at times. I couldn't help but reach out and ruffle his golden hair and giggle, causing him to drop his arms and blush, making a confused sort of face.

The next thing I know he wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled his head into my chest. Completely not thinking I pulled away turning redder and redder, and when his eyes looked up at me, I ran down the hall to my room. Slamming the door I pounced on my pillow and started to cry into it. "What is wrong with me!" I screamed into the now damp pillow. "I've wanted him to hold him for a long time now," I snuffled, "I get the opportunity, and I run away?"

I heard a knock at my door, I had calmed down a little by then so I asked who it was. The reply wasn't what I was expecting.

"It's Firion." I gasped and wondered what he wanted. I opened my door and let him in. I let him sit on my bed as I went to pour him some tea from the flask I made up earlier.

Handing him the tea he smiled, Firion actually smiled at me. Wow. "So, why did you come here?" I asked sitting beside Firion and smiling back at him. I noticed his lips part as a slight blush rose on his face. "You know, Tidus really likes you."

My heart skipped a beat, and it started pounding in my chest. I looked at the floor and I must have been bright red. "But…" I knew what was coming next. "I won't allow it. I'll find a way to make him change his mind, and if you dare touch him. I'll….."

I didn't want to listen to this; I stood up and walked into the bathroom connected to my bedroom. Firion didn't finish his sentence but instead asked "Where are you going?" I didn't want to reply to that. I closed the bathroom door and turned on the cold tap. I cupped my hands under the pouring water then splashed it on my face. That way, I couldn't tell the difference from tears and water.

I heard a slamming door, must have been Firion leaving because when I came out of the bathroom there was no sign of him. I left my room and started down the hallway, I just had to find Tidus. I knew he wasn't in his room because the door was wide open and he wasn't there. This meant he was probably with Cloud and Squall. "They'll be on guitar hero again." I thought to myself rolling my eyes.

I knocked on the door of Cloud's room and walked in, he lets all his close friends' barge in whenever they want, that includes me, Tidus, Squall and Light-san. He says that's because he has nothing to hide from us.

What I saw wasn't three immature guys mashing the keys on their guitars plugged into the x-box but Cloud sat on the bed with Tidus on his knee crying into his shoulder. Cloud looked at me and put his finger to his mouth telling me to remain silent. He probably didn't want Tidus knowing I'm here. I went to sit on Squall's bed opposite.

Squall didn't share a room with Cloud, but there was a bed there for the many times he decided to stay over for the night. Squall and Cloud are so close; it's hard to get your head around. They aren't in love or anything like that; maybe it's easiest to say they are like brothers, Inseparable.

Cloud was stroking Tidus's hair mumbling some stuff to him, trying to cheer him up. It must have worked some because Tidus looked up into clouds eyes, but cloud looked across in my direction. I heard a "huh?" sort of noise coming from Tidus then he turned to look. "Cecil?"

I nodded and he got off Cloud knee and walked over. His face was all red and wet from tears. I stood and wrapped my arms around him. Lowering my head to meet his I whispered. "It's ok, I'm here."

He was just like a little kid, clinging to my clothes with one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other. "Cecil, I…."

"I know." I replied before he could finish. I wasn't afraid anymore, I knew Tidus loved me just as much and that meant I didn't have to be embarrassed all the time. "I love you too Tidus."

Tidus looked up into my eyes. He must have been thinking something along the lines of. "How did he know?" It was peaceful like this, just holding him. Cloud stayed sat on his bed and nodded, smiling. He looked proud in a way.


End file.
